Mommy left this memory on 19.12.09:

This month you would have been two years old already. I cant help but think of what you would be like and to spend your second Christmas with Grandma & Grandpa. I can't believe two years have already gone by, it seems like just yesterday you were here with me. Daddy is so disappointed we didnt get another chance this month...he really wanted it to happen again! I may not have you here with me and I may not be a mommy in the eyes of anyone else but I will always be a mommy to you! I love you boys!

Mommy left this memory on 23.12.08:

Well boys, its Christmas again and it just doesnt seem right to not have you here with me and daddy! Daddy is the "scrooge" this year and I cant help but wonder if its because you are not here to share this time with us? what is Christmas for but for the joy of children and family! Another year goes by and I can only pray that the memory of you will get me through! Mommy loves you boys!

Mommy left this memory on 04.09.08:

Well boys, what a blessing it was to have had you if only for a short time. You gave me the chance to be a mommy even though you are not here with me. A chance I will never have again. We tried again and it didnt work this time. I dont understand or know really why we cant have the family we have longed for, it doesnt really make sense. I am learning the true meaning to "Accept what you cant change and change what you can" Daddy and I have struggled so long and have hurt so much that now we have to try to stay positive and remember how blessed we are to have had you in our life for only a moment. I promise to make you proud! Love, Mommy

Mommy left this memory on 09.07.08:

Well, its now July 8th, 2008 and I finally found the strenght to write something. I should have been prepared for the overwhelming sadness that hit me like a tornado starting on July 3rd. Just hearing people talk about the 4th of July and all the joy they had, made me sad remembering what the 4th & 5th of July now represents for me, the anniversary of the day I held you in my arms and saw your little bodies so perfect and tiny. The day I didnt want to let you go! But God needed you in Heaven not here with me on earth. And someday maybe I will understand why? Maybe I never will, but what I do know is that the memory of that day will never go away. Its hard for your dad to see me so sad and he doesnt know what to do and he doesnt want to be sad, he wants to be happy that you are now in Heaven. This is the difference between us but in the end it only brings us closer. I wanted your day to be special but I didnt know what to do? I wanted to honor you but I wasn't prepared for I didnt realize the impact this would have on me this year and will forever. I love you boys!

Mommy left this memory on 23.06.08:

Hi Boys, Here we go again! Tomorrow I will go in for IUI at Scripps. Me and Daddy are complacant. As your one year anniversary approaches, I think about how fast time flies and how much I wish you were here to share this past year with us. I think about how you have changed my life and made me a stronger woman in so many ways. Because of you I have become a better me! I love you boys!

Mommy left this memory on 06.05.08:

As Mothers Day approachs, I cant help but miss you more! Although I dont have you here with me, I am still your Mommy and want so bad to have you back so I can hold you and love you and be the best mommy I can be! I know I have so much to be thankful for yet, nothing can replace the loss of my precious babies. This Mothers Day will be so sad without you! I love you boys! No one will ever know the hurt I have in my heart for you! No one should ever have to know this pain.

Mommy left this memory on 02.04.08:

I think of you everyday and I wish there was a way I could have you here with me. I think about what you would look like. I know that Jason looks more like Daddy and Cameron you look like mommy. How I would love to see your faces and feel your soft skin next to mine and more than anything to have a little piece of your Daddy to live long past us and to make us proud! Because of you I am a new person, I am forever changed by your love! sleep well my little angels, mommy & daddy love you!

Mommy left this memory on 24.02.08:

Feb 22, 2008 I cant help but think of you both on this day. Of all the joy and tears and innocence of what was to come when we watched you both be created right before our eyes. Our little miracles being "transferred" into mommy to grow and develop. I remember wondering what you would look like and being so careful not to eat or drink anything that could harm you. I wanted you to have the best life! You deserved it! I know you are looking down on Me and Daddy and you have given us Peace and Hope for another chance to create a family that will honor and never forget you, my beautiful twin boys. Mommy misses you so and I love you! Be good up there in Heaven and please touch all the other Mommies and let them know it will be ok!

Mommy left this memory on 05.02.08:

Hello, little angels. I miss you so much! As I struggle everyday to move ahead I cant help but think of you and how much I love and miss you both! I still try to find the happiness inside I had when you were here with me. You will always have a piece of my heart with you. I love you, Mommy!

Mommy left this memory on 24.01.08:

Hi Boys...I think of you all the time! My arms will never be the same without you to hold. My heart will always have a hole in it for you! I love you boys so much!

Mommy left this memory on 24.12.07:

It is the Eve of Christmas Eve and I can't help but miss my precious babies. This Christmas was supposed to be our First Christmas as a family. Instead I can only dream of how it would be with you here with us. I know it would be the wonderful Christmas together. My empty arms long for your soft touch. My broken heart will never be the same. I love you my precious angel babies!

Mommy left this memory on 05.12.07:

Today is your Birthday. I never imagined today would be this hard. I cant stop cyring! I can only think of what it was like to have you growing and moving in my belly and all the cute utlrasound photos we have of you and what you would have been like. I know you would have been full of joy and laughter and would have filled our life of that emptiness I feel now. This year at Christmas we will honor our boys with blue ribbons and angels on our Christmas tree, only wishing you were here with us!

Mommy left this memory on 05.12.07:

My heart aches knowing you should be here with me. I want to hold you and hear your cries for me, instead I am crying for you! You were born too early on July 5th and now 5 months later on Dec. 5th (tomorrow) is your birthday but you aren't here. Its not fair! Lately I feel like I am losing my mind, I can't think straight, I can't remember anything and I start to wonder why. What is wrong with me? Then I realize I am hit by another wave of grief and sorrow for my boys and how can I expect anything different? When I see another baby, my arms ache to hold you and my heart breaks yet again. I'm sure your Great Grandma Howe is up there and you 3 are so happy together. I miss you so....if only I could turn back time and have you here with me. I love you my sweet angel babies!

Mommy left this memory on 01.12.07:

In 5 days was my due date. Of course you would have been here sooner, since there were two of you but this day will forever be your due date in my heart and soul. I will honor you this year with angels and blue ribbon on the Christmas tree. Christmas is to be shared with children and family and we will miss you so this year as this would have been our first Christmas together as a family!

Mommy left this memory on 15.11.07:

I will never forget my little angels. You are forever in my heart. This Thanksgiving will be bitter sweet for me. I cant help but be sad knowing that you should be here with me but I have so much to be thankful for. Forever, my little angel babies will be loved! Mommy

Tosha left this memory on 26.09.07:

Greg had the dream the we were pregnant with twins boys! We will never forget that!